Now, the three are nearly ready to announce that they’re leaving The Screen Actors Guild to form a new union of “non-woke” thespians looking to return the movies to their traditional values.

“We’re tired of mermaids with the wrong skin color and Snow White’s Seven ‘Mystical Creatures,’” said the new guild’s frontman, veteran spokesmodel Joe Barron, “It’s time we got back to the good old days of traditional values in movies. We want to make sure future versions of The Terminator aren’t Native American just because it will make the butter people happy.”

Barron’s sentiment doesn’t just include butter, either. There’s also an African American woman named Aunt Jemima who paid for wokeness with her very identity. Now that she’s gone from the bottle, generations of new Americans will never know the storied history of the greatest Aunt to ever show up at Black Thanksgiving with mac and cheese. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmm.

It’s okay, patriots. I can add a thing about Black Thanksgiving because I have several friends who are black and they’ve all said if I was in the neighborhood I could stop by and see for myself. I just have to bring cornbread. With jalapenos. For some reason.

Anyway, this seems to have gotten a bit off track from the original piece, which was another “no-woke” pile of nonsense because the guy with the white memes scored big copying from a copycat. True story. As always, God Bless America.